Well this was an easy one for my Saturday. I had school. I woke up feeling positively horrible. So it was vitamins and water for breakfast. Did some good stretching and a little ab work before school. I studied through lunch and bought supplies for the superbowl party. Can't say I did so well that night, but my spaghetti and meatballs aren't exactly unhealthy. Afterall, they are delicious. :)

Sounds simple enough. :) Today, we should all cut off drippy faucets, abstain from needlessly watering the lawn, try to hold out on uneccessary showers, toilet trips and dishes/car/house cleaning. The hardest part is probably the suggestion to skip washing stuff. Even though I no longer own a car, I use water to clean everything else. Does anyone happen to know the exact statistics on water depletion or anything of the like?

Based on what I remember from school, You should conserve water in areas suffering from a drought JUST IN CASE it lasts longer than predicted. And the fact that it rains daily worldwide and the icecaps are supposedly melting (on the sides, but growing on the top from snow build up) then the earth as a whole is replenishing its own water supply.

So wait...

What are we conserving water for again? Is it really because people in overpopulated areas are going to migrate and want "our" water? I'd like someone to sit down and explain this to me in very REAL terms. Not using the words "what if" or "maybe".

I love this task. In fact, it reminded me of a poem I memorized from an American History class back in middle school:

I don't remember who wrote it or what war it was during; but I never forgot the words. This poem comes to my mind almost any time I get into a flag burning debate or discussion. It's not the flag itself that's so precious to people. It's what it represents. The same could be said for negative connotations associated with other flags like the Nazi or Confederate colors.

Do any of you have a favorite poem or even a play excerpt which stirs your soul? If so, share. If not, I suggest you scrounge the bookshelf until you find one. :)

To help you out, here are a few of the more popular and commonly recited poems:

A Dream Deferred - Langston Hughes
Death - Emily Dickenson
The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost
The Tyger - William Blake
Death be Not Proud - John Donne
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night - Dylan Thomas
Jabberwocky - Lewis Carrol

and for the adventurous soul with a strong memory:
The Raven - Poe

I have sent the above items to:

Ashworth, Chelise

101 W End Ave

New York, NY 10023

This one is veeery interesting. However, I do not have a $5 bill on me at the moment. I will update this task at a later date once I have eveyrthing mailed. I'll also post the address I'm sending it to. Who knows, it could be someone on Blogspot. NY is a big city after all!

Of course, some of these records are easier to break than others. I think I'll try tackling the sit ups record. I could use some more work on my abs. :*


Here are few of the easier records to break or establish:

• Most zits on a face


• Longest time holding up and umbrella


• Quickest recitation of the alphabet (I think I could win this one backwards!)


• Longest occupation of an attic

Well, what are you waiting for? Grab some chalk and get started. You may be asking yourself: Why a circle? This is why:

"The circle is perhaps the purest, most profound and the most common symbol in existence. With the probably infinite billions of stars, planets, moons and galaxies full of the same, the circle is well represented in the physical universe in the form of spheres. A circle, having no beginning or end, represents infinity, eternity, wholeness and femininity. Other meaningfully significant symbols or objects are circular: Stonehenge, Ouroboros, the Wheel of Life, a halo around the head of a saint, etc. In a very practical way, it can be said that circles rule the world. For example: wheels, gears, computer hard drives, CDs."

No wonder millions of religions and spiritualists find the shape to be sacred. Almost every belief from minor individual to major religion has found "safety" inside a circle. So protect yourself. Create circles everywhere you go today. You never know what kind of creepy voodoo and heebee jeebees you might ward off with a bit of sidewalk chalk. If you're on carpet, try masking tape. A carefully positioned shoelace. Maybe even spread the kids' Cheerios out around them. :) You never can be TOO safe. I think I'll be eating Spaghetti O's for lunch today. Just in case.

I didn't get a chance to try this one this weekend. Then again, neither did any of you since I didn't update. :/ However, since it takes all of five minutes, maybe we can try it anyway. Just call up a pizza joint (preferably one without caller ID or one you don't plan on ordering from ever again) and ask them if they can prepare you a pizza with toppings you know they won't have.

Just follow my lead...

Pizza Joint: That you for calling **** Pizza, how may I help you?
Me: I'd like to know if you can make a custom pie.
PJ: Sure ma'am, what were you looking to make?
Me: I'm looking to get a half tray marble of wheat and white with sour cream, chives, bacos and steak. And if you can crush and sprinkle about a cup of Honey BBQ Fritos over the crust that would be fantastic.
PJ: ummm... I don't believe we have the ingredients to do that ma'am.
Me: No? Okay, well, thank you anyway. Good day.

I don't know about you guys, but Uri Geller (see above) looks like a demented Hasselhoff to me. If this is the end result of a lifetime of bending spoons and levitating statuettes, I think I'll stick to the more metaphorical objects.


Like bending the truth or shattering someone's doubt. Maybe we could just focus all our energy into lifting the veil of intolerance. We could make torture and war disappear if we all tried. Maybe, just maybe, if everyone in the world sat down and focused all of their powers on peace, it might just decide to manifest itself.


Maybe.

For anyone actually curious about their own psychic abilities, there is a set of tests you can try online. That, or you can go try to solve one of these unsolved murders. Good Luck!

Reading and writing are very important to me, so, it will be central in my home. I'd like to think that no matter my child's interests, they will always have a genre of books and a writing style to call their own. And they will always know that whether they choose Tolstoy or Dini I will love them the same. And if they choose to write political dossiers over fiction, they will still be my child.


What about you guys? Is there something dear to you or your family which you would like to pass on? Don't forget that even if you don't have children of your own, you can always influence the other children around you. If you treat them like family, they are family.

For me, there are certain sushis and bentos which give me the chills just because they look weird. I've always told myself that they probably taste delicious because they smell soooo good. Today, I vow to order such a box of interesting delights for lunch today. If I live through it, I'll update later with pictures. :)


For the rest of you, especially those who swear they aren't scared to eat anything, here's a list of the world's scariest foods, including:
1,000 Year Old Eggs
Black Tarantulas
Rotten Maggot-Covered Cheese
Cheeseburger-in-a-Can
Black Ant Eggs


Go ahead. I dare you. I double dog dare you! O_O

I had to think about this task for a while. Being a realist, I have to admit that if we average janes and joes of the world attempted to do even a fraction of the things celebrity musicians do we would end up dead, in prison or both.

And so, I give you the list of achievable Rock Goals for the day:

• Write a song. If you're a writer of any sort, write some awesome lyrics bragging about how sexy/rich/awesome/metal you are. If you play an instrument of any sort, compose a short piece of music. Something for your first hit single.
• Dress to Impress. You know you have something flambouyant in your closet so today's the day to rock that look. Even if it's that dress you only wore to your cousin's wedding eight years ago. Just toss that over some cut up old jeans, neon socks and high heels and bam! You're awesome. I'll send TMZ right over.
• Strut. You look good. You know it. You better know it. I just told you you do. So walk like you know it and the whole world NEEDS to know it.
• Flirt like a pro. Apparently, and this is coming from the stars here, all you have to do is make the assumption that everyone on earth wants to sleep with you. Whether you act out on it or not is up to your current relationship situation. Either way, you should at least be holding your head a little higher and smiling more.
• Brag. It's not enough to just look like you are awesome. You have to confirm it. Send out a free press release today telling the world how amazingly wonderful you are and how much praise you deserve. Make sure to plug your new album/movie/child at every other paragraph.

The top image is from this artist's gallery and his visit to the Rock & Roll Museum in 2002.

\m/ >_< \m/

Unfortunatly, I am at work already and far away from any pancake creation tools. Fortunately, I can order some fresh pancakes from the diner up the street and simply flip them at my desk. Not half as fun, but almost as delicious.

Personally, blueberry pancakes are my favorite with buttermilk coming in a heated second. And despite the image above, I'm not a big fan of syrup. In fact, if the pancakes are made well enough, I don't think you need to add much of anything to them.

Just remember, in food flipping just as in frisbee: it's all in the wrists.

CATCH!

It's simple. Just write "Return to Sender" across the envelope and mail it back. Or, if you want to cause them more grief, open the mail and send the heaviest things you can mail back in all of the postage paid envelopes you find. This will end up charging the recieving end for the extra weight. Suggested return envelope stuffers include:

• folded newspaper pages


• leaves


• small bolts/screws wrapped in paper or bubblewrap


• large quatities of tape


• laminated laminated laminated laminated laminate sheets


• developed photos from that camera you found in the park


• playing cards, glued together

Remember who you're messing with. If it has your return address on it or a customer tracking number, try not to piss off the wrong people. If it's from the Church of Scientology, just mail them some prozac or zanax. I hear that stuff's like kryptonite to them.

Since many of us already have jobs or small children to which we cannot take our eyes off of, I suggest that whenever you DO NOT need your eyes, close them.

If you are stirring a pot to cook, close your eyes and focus in on the smells and sounds of cooking. If you have a moment to write, try writing without the aid of vision. Try typing or blogging through key memory alone. If you are on the phone and do not need to see (don't do this in a car!) then close your eyes for a moment and just picture the person's face, really hear their voice and try to pick up background sounds behind them.

Every small moment you have today which doesn't necessitate vision should be used to take in the other senses. Listen more. Smell more. Touch and Taste more. Just the simple task of closing your eyes while you eat will surprise you. Enjoy. :)

Okay, though I'm usually the face-in-the-crowd kind of girl. I'm giving this one a try. I'm going to let my hair down today at work, something I only did at the Holiday Party and haven't done since. Maybe it'll work. If not, I may have to resort to one of the many interesting suggestions given by the author:

• Keep one eye shut all day
• Don't shave
• Have money sticking out of your pockets
• Talk crap non-stop
• Leave money lying around
• Wear a tall hat
• Wear a crown
• Carry a midget under your left arm
• Whistle out of tune
• Read the newspaper upside-down
• Walk sideways, crab-like
• Glue a spatula to your arm

It's not that hard, really. Crimes are commited around you every day. I've been hijacked and held hostage on several train rides to and from work. I've been acosted by noise and sanitation violatations on crowded streets and buses. Today, you will all pay. IN FINES! hehehe...

Just take this form, print off a few copies and hand them out. Maybe if the offending party is ever in Alaska jurisdiction, they can be snagged by Palin and her crew. XD

Happy Hunting!

Haven't tried this yet but the day is still young! I will update this post later once I get someone to fill it out for me. Good luck to the rest of you!

**Update!**
Just tried this on the train during my lunch break. I kid you not, this is what I got:

It reads: No, I will not give you any money. Go Away please! I swear this city still surprises me sometimes. Now if I only I had taken the time to ask them if it was a joke, a sincere reply or the instinctual response of a New Yorker who no longer listens when people ask for things on the subway...

We'll never know.

I didn't even try this, to be honest. I don't want to cure my insomnia. I need that extra time to do all the stuff I can't get done during regular hours. :* Besides, I sort of like the somber peacefulness of a world that has fallen asleep.


Also, I like playing videogames til 2am sometimes.

Today's task was kinda "meh" but that's because I already keep a calendar full of birthdays and even remember many I'm not really supposed to anymore. I rememebr my ex-best friend's birthday. I remember an ex-boyfriend who taught me all about the wonders of 235 and I remember the two birthdays of ex-bf's whose birthdays both surround the birthday of my current SO. And I even remember the birthdays of my dad, my stepdad (who shares his bday with my mom), both my stepmoms and all of my brothers.


I found this list of excuses pretty cute, though. Just in case any of us ever do forget someone's special day.


Today's random fact: The most important religious holiday to a Satanist is his birthday. Since the religion centers on nihlism more than anything "supernatural", it seems only fitting. So next time you want to take your birthday off of work, just tell 'em you're a Satanist. XD

This task is great prep for those of you wringing your hearts and hands over that perfect Valentine's sentiment for next month. Like Napoleon Dynamite above, just speak from your heart. Even if you stumble, if your heart's desire hangs around long enough to hear all of it, they'll know how you feel. If all else fails, those three magic words could just be spiced up in the tongue of your ancestors' roots.


However, I would avoid these back-handed compliments at all costs:
It's okay if you can't cook, hon, we both need to eat less anyway.
I like a man who can cry, you feel like one of my sisters.
I think it's great that we never communicate; it gives me more time to read.


To John: You've tamed me and kept me in line without suffocating who I am. For this, I love you.

The above image is from this new account on deviantart, trackchick. The woman takes wonderful outdoor photography. :) http://trackchick.deviantart.com/


As for today's task, do it. The best way to overcome or move past a superstition is to research where it came from. This helps quell the fantastical and merge it back with reality.

For example, do you know why we "knock wood"? It goes back to a time when people believed in tree nymphs and tree-dwelling sprites who would play tricks on you (think Shakespeare's Puck). So, if these people were talking about anything unsavory, in order to not give the malicious sprites bad ideas, they would knock the wood or trees to override their voices and drown out what they were saying. Silly, right?

Here are a few more things you can try toeing the line of luck with today:
Cross paths with a black cat.
Walk under a ladder.
Break a mirror.
Hang a horseshoe upside-down.

As for myself, given today's weather, I have already opened an umbrella indoors. :)

Perhaps you may even consider starting a new diary for the year. As an English assignment once started around this idea, I give you that teacher's suggestion: Pick a theme and stick with it.

You can start a dieting journal, a journal about a new baby, a new pet or even a new car. Write a dream journal. Write reviews for books or movies you are currently enjoying. Write about work or the economy. Follow your favorite band, actor or team. Whatever it is that inspires you to write more often, jump on it.

Afterall, you may be remembered for the words you leave behind...

Harry Truman
Virginia Woolf
Samuel Pepys
Anne Frank
Lewis Carroll

Yes, I know it's January and I'm not the only one who lives in an environment where the grass is currently buried under ice and snow. And so, I give you this alternative. Yes, grass-lined shoes. Topped in awesomeness only by Steve Urkel's Lawn Chair, you too can enjoy the soft, tickly feel of fresh green between your toes.

Personally, I'm just going to wear flip flops tonight when I go clover hunting for our pet snail. Maybe I'll catch a stray blade determined to push it's way through the frost. :) If not, I promise I'll make up for this task come Spring. I've been wanting to walk on that new lawn at Brooklyn College for months now.

As a side note: Aren't baby feet the cutest thing on this planet next to puppy smiles? I'm pretty sure even toe-phobes would find themselves compelled to tickle such chubby little stubs.

You can try this site which claims it is a "Holy Order" and that the process for knighthood is "easy"... or you can simply do it the old fashioned way and send in a hand-written letter. That or become a platinum album musician, entrepreneur and philanthropist. Maybe the Queen will take notice. O_o

My letter:

British Prime Minister
c/o The Prime Minister's Office
10 Downing Street
London SW1A 2AA
United Kingdom

Dear Mr. Prime Minister:

I am writing in request of attaining knighthood. I believe my glorious life and royally connected blood afford me such rights. My tasks of amazement are listed below in no particular order though I am sure you will find no need to arrange them as each is equal in awesomeness.

* I have memorized the lyrics to over 90 percent of every song I've ever heard. Even the songs I dislike. My memory is unbiased in this regard and this makes me almost saintly.

* I have studied over five languages and consider myself a learned scholar of the world seeing as how there are only six or seven languages in the world worth learning. Hence, I am more efficent than the Pope in this regard.

* As an English major, I have a profound respect for the language of Her Royal Majesty as well as having attained a deep understanding of the dry, bitter humor called English wit.

* My name is awesome. To add Sir to the beginning would not only compound its awesomeness, it would further confuse people as to my gender. Anything which confuses the masses is Grade A in my book.

Yours in consideration,
Miss Sarah Catherine Sebastian Ashworth

Augh! I can't believe Bronchitis kept me from one of my favorite tasks. :/ I'm definately pulling this one off anyway. Some of the suggested classics include saran-wrapped toilet bowls, superglued sidewalk coins, Kick Me signs and salt/sugar exchanges.

Have fun today. If you have a coworker on vacation, mess with their desk. Wrap everything in plastic wrap (even individual pencils) or if they are total neat freaks, just move stuff to random locations. Just last week, we had someone's keyboard alphabatized. He tried to type with it for about two hours before finally nabbing a new one from IT.

Enjoy this task, and start the new year off with a laugh!

So it's probably not all that useful unless you plan on moving to Sweden or dating that model you've been fantasizing about since your tweens. So here's a few lines to help pick her up:


"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
Swedish: Är det varmt här eller, är det bara du?

"Do you want to come home with me and lick on my stamp collection?"
Swedish: Vill du bli med hem och slicka på min frimärkssamling?


And here's a decent start on generic dialogue (since I doubt you'll be dating her for her conversational skills.) The site also has a helpful section on basic pronunciation to help you say her name a little easier. Good Luck! Or as they say in Sweden:

Well, since I have to work today (I know, bummer!) I cannot complete this one physically. However, if we get creative, I can spend some virtual time in a church. You can too! Just Google "beautiful church" or "beautiful temple" and look at some of the intricate works of art and architecture so many faithful people have put into their religion. For example, this place in Vietnam. Gorgeous pillars! Or Ta Promh the thousand year old temple, now taken over by trees. O_o


Another suggestion Benrick had was to think up some questions you'd ask "God" should you meet them. He suggested avoiding the generric questions about the afterlife or universal knowledge and to go for something more exciting like whether or not Adam and Eve had belly buttons.


Personally, I just want to know how they like their coffee. :*


*endnote*
As an English major, I know I'm supposed to use "he" or "she" instead of the word "them" but seeing as how there is no definitive sexual association that fits all religious interpretations of God, I kept it general. If you don't like it, go whine on your own blog. :*

Okay, so I didn't post it. But that's because I didn't want to encourage this task. Especially right after all these less-than-minimum-wage workers just spent their small savings on gifts for coworkers and loved ones.


Point is, Benrick, if you dine-and-dash here in the States you are screwing over the waiter. Believe me, I know. Not only did you not tip them (so that throws them in the negative if they have to tip-out the bartender, hostess or busboy at the end of the night), but some restaurants make the waiter foot the bill for table jumpers. Some restaurants assume that the people were only able to leave because you weren't attentive enough as a waiter.


So, please, next time you feel like getting your thrills from minor law violations, try swiping a candy bar from the mega-mart or littering a gum wrapper. Something that won't affect another person's ability to afford rent that week. In fact, why don't you just play some GTA and break all the laws you want in an imaginary world and leave the real one be? :)